Okay, so I'm just going to get to the good part: What was it like wearing outside the house? Initially, it tickled so much I couldn't keep it on for more than 4 seconds and I was paranoid people were looking at me like I was crazy. There was no way for me to have a poker face with a vibrator in my panties. After the initial jump scare of putting something buzzing on your clit, I got to really experience what it was like to have an orgasm anywhere I wanted: I couldn’t. Let me give you the scoop on this exhibitionist essential. 

Pro tip: if you can't keep a straight face in public, wear a mask

First things first, this is considered public indecency if used in inappropriate environments. Please be considerate of the people around you; ESPECIALLY CHILDREN. The general public did not consent to participating in your exhibitionism.

This toy is such a tease! It is a 2024 foreplay must-have! It's the “I want to take my time with you” vibrator. It's smooth, sleek and pairs great with Merlot and roses. This toy has two rumbly motors: one for the clit and one for the vagina. It is very quiet and not very powerful; which makes for a lot of teasing.

Upon opening the toy, I see that there are two different-sized humps; the two motors I assume. The instructions I received didn't indicate which motor belonged to which body part. I assume the larger bump is meant for the vulva but since it's not much of a penetrative toy so I enjoyed it the other way around. My clit is queen in these reviews.

Once positioned, I didn't have to reposition it. A word of caution to those wearing skirts, dresses, or have a thigh gap: It did unfasten once but my thighs and underwear held it in place.

Walking around with the toy got boring quickly for me because there wasn't enough pressure from my panties or shorts. Pulling on them didn't even work. While the firmness of the underwear matters, I suggest against wearing anything that won't allow your vulva to breathe. Walking around does add movement the toy wouldn't otherwise have. However, if you need more pressure, most activities involving movement may be underwhelming with this toy. Laying down is only fun if you hold it with your hand, defeating the point of a “hands-free” toy. 

Sitting down is where all the action is for me! The pressure here comes from sandwiching the toy between your body and whatever you are sitting on. I noticed that the more lubrication that exists, the more the toy will move. This makes sitting ideal and any movement I may have needed came from adjusting my posture or leg positioning. That's just me! As a pillow princess, I love a remote-controlled toy and it was super easy to switch between modes. It is a very targeted toy but not too intense. Unlike the rose, this orgasm took over an hour but I enjoyed the ride. 

Pro tip: Not racing to orgasm can be a great way to practice being in the present moment. 

Let's be realistic, all vibrators make noise. This one is also quieter than my toothbrush. In most environments, the natural noise occurring drowns any noise that your body and clothes don't. Only in pen drop silent situations was I concerned that maybe someone might hear.

Pro tip: If anybody asks what the noise is, tell them it's your phone.

Lastly, should you wear this on your menstrual cycle? (I will assume you read the comic already.) The answer is that it is up to you. While blood can be a natural lubricant, most folks I know are looking for cake, a bed, and a bathroom during their period; not necessarily a good time. As for those who experience increased desire during their period, since the toy is splashproof my advice is to have fun, stay clean, and always check your pants! Based on the size of the band, the toy does not seem compatible with most sanitary napkins, cloths, or pads. The toy seems like it would work well with tampons, menstrual cups, and period panties.

Who would I recommend this to?

• This is an extra spicy toy for a couple! I tested the toy alone but giving control to your partner can be great for bonding, power play, and foreplay. This is the toy you wear when you tell your significant other “I’ve been wet all day”.

• It's good for people with sensitive clits; who may be the only people who can orgasm from this quickly.

• This is a great edging assistant for those who enjoy the build-up to orgasm.

• Similar to any other body part, the vulva can get a nice massage just like your shoulders or back would need. 

• Please heed my warning about the general public from earlier but this is a great toy to dip your toe in exhibitionism. Feel the thrilling taboo of sexytime outside the house.

• This is a next-level experience for those who enjoy humping things during playtime

I do not recommend this toy to-

• This toy is not for those who prefer full vulva coverage; like that of a wand. It offers some vulva coverage via the second hump but it's not very wide and the vibration is not very powerful.

• This toy may not be best for those who need more movement than walking around can offer. 

• This toy is definitely not meant for people who like to go commando. 

The Wearable Panty Vibrator is Toy Fairy approved for a great hands-free time. It's practical for horny vixens on the go and charging is as easy as charging your phone. One of my favorite parts of this toy is how it blinks blue while charging. I've worn it all day (with the vibration off) and it didn't bother me or feel uncomfortable thanks to the medical-grade silicone.  However, be mindful of the battery life of the remote battery (which is replaceable) and the battery of the toy. 

Funzze toys always come with sexy toy-safe storage. The toy is also very suitable for travel but walk through an airport security metal detector with this thing on at your own risk.

Pro tip: Funzze is having a sale right now! Get this toy for 14.99 while you can.